Every day that you are alive, you are surrounded by other people. Some interactions you absolutely love and they make you feel amazing, while other interactions completely drain you, and make you want to run the other way. Its very important in today’s society to choose your inner circle wisely. You will spend lots of your personal time around others, and time is something that you can never get back. So its important to place great value on your time, it is precious, and a true gift from God. Its important that you learn not to waste your time with people who don’t value you, or who are constantly influencing you in a negative way. When you decide to evaluate who your core group of friends, take time to ask yourself a few simple questions.
1. Does my inner circle influence me in a positive or negative way?
This is very important because you want to surround yourself with people who will push you to go higher. You want to keep people around you who will encourage you and help you to stay on the right track. You will also be able to do the same for them. The people you hang around most will eventually rub off on you. This is automatic, you will start to mimic certain things that they do overtime. This is not always a negative thing as long as you are picking up on positive attributes and not negative ones. You will slowly become like those who influence you most. Your positive friends will encourage you to go after your dreams even if they seem impossible, they will tell you when you’re about to make a bad decision, they will constantly speak life over you, they will pray for and with you, they will build you up when you feel down, they will love you, and push you closer to your God given purpose and not away from it. If you realize you have people around you that have no plans for the future, constantly speak about defeat & lack, continue to tell you that you can’t reach your dreams, you dream to big, you will never amount to anything, and they’re always finding the negatives in everything etc, its time to distance yourself from those kinds of people. You can still love them but you must make decisions that will be best for becoming the best version of you and fulfilling your purpose. (Proverbs 13:20 states that ” whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm”). This scripture shows if you hang around negative thinking people, their ways will eventually jump on you.
2. Does my core group of friends support or criticize me?
When you share your goals and visions for the future does your inner circle support you, believe in you, and encourage you to go after them. You need positive optimist around you. God tells us that bad company corrupts good character.
(1 Cor 15:33) This goes to show that if you don’t have like minded individuals around you, their way of thinking will eventually rub off on you and start to plant seeds of doubt and unbelief in your heart. Guard your heart and mind and stay away from critical, judgmental, pessimistic people. (Proverbs 4:23)
3. When I am around my inner circle, how does it make me feel?
Are you able to fully be yourself around the people you hang around most, or do you have to walk on eggshells and tip toe around certain ones? Do you feel happy, joyful, loving and at peace with the people you hang with most, or do you feel uneasy, sad, depressed, stressed, or a pressure to compete with them? You should feel happy and alive when you are around the right people. You should feel free to be yourself and not feel a need to compete or compare your life with theirs. God has a specific plan for each persons life, and blessed all of us with different talents, so its important to keep your eyes on your journey and your friends should do the same. (Romans 12:6 & 1 Peter 4:10) You should uplift your friends and they should do the same. You shouldn’t feel obligated to behave a certain way just because someone is pressuring you to be different or act different. Your true friends will accept and love you just the way you are. True friends will build, encourage, love, help, uplift and push you toward God and your purpose not away. Evaluate your inner circle and make changes where needed.
4. What do I speak about when I am around my core group of friends?
If all your core group of friends do is gossip about other people & always tearing others down you need to find another group of friends. The last thing you need is a bunch of drama-filled back biting people around you. If those friends are willing to spread other peoples business, i’m sure they will have no problem spreading yours when you are not around. You need trustworthy people around you. When you have good, loving, supportive friends they will cover you in prayer, speak encouragement into your life, and not go run to tell the first person they see when you are dealing with a struggle. Get rid of messy gossiping people, they are not helpful but a hindrance in your life.
5. Does my core group of friends provide wise counsel or advice that leads me away from my purpose?
There is nothing wrong with seeking wise counsel from someone who is on the journey or path that you would like to be on, someone who accomplished what you would like to accomplish, or someone who has experienced a victory in an area that you may be struggling with. Its great to seek wisdom, knowledge, and understanding. Its great to always push yourself to learn more. Wisdom is valuable, but you want to make sure before running to humans that you are seeking wisdom for yourself with prayer and allowing the Lord to speak. When you ask your inner circle for advice if they are speaking the opposite of what you feel led in your heart to do, or trying to pressure you to do something that you know is not right, you have to learn to let some advice go in one ear and out the other. Not all advice is good advice, and some advice will lead you completely off course.
6. Does this relationship have purpose?
Its important that you don’t have a bunch of people around you that literally have no ambition or plans for their life. This kind of friendship will serve no purpose but will deplete you of your drive and vision for a greater life. Make sure your relationships have purpose and are going in the right direction. Your relationships should be purposed to push you towards God and the journey he has planned for you.
“Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you too, can become great. When you are seeking to bring big plans to fruition, it is important with whom you regularly associate. Hang out with friends who are like-minded and who are also designing purpose-filled lives. Similarly, be that kind of a friend for your friends.” – Mark Twain
Thanks so much for checking out the website. I pray this blog encourages you to evaluate your core group of friends. You don’t have to settle for relationships that bring you down, God will bring the right group of friends into your life. I pray great blessings and favor upon each of you.
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Hugs & Happy Healthy Relationships